Future Me

Yesterday, I received a surprise in my e-mail inbox. On December 18, 2005, I used a website called futureme.org, through which you can write yourself an e-mail to be sent to you on a designated date. I chose June 14, 2008 as the date of receipt because that was the day I was scheduled to graduate (this, of course, was before I decided to graduate a year early).

I had completely forgotten that I wrote the letter to myself and trust me when I say that it was a verbose novel, how typical of me! Reading it was pretty surreal; I mean, I keep a diary and update it extremely consistently, but having all of my thoughts at that point come back to me was a different experience. It summed up a lot for me, showing me how so much of my life has changed, yet so much has stayed the same. I'm still the same super ambitious person who is a little unsure of herself at times, but I've also become so much more independent and headstrong.

Sometimes when I'm with my friends and we're happily giggling about some trivial event or something else, I forget how far we've come. With this weekend (and last month for those on semester system!) marking the eve of many of my friends' departures into the real world, it's nice to remember that we really have grown, even though our inner silliness can still shine through. I can still remain a generally happy and positive person, who is supplemented by an understanding that the world can be cruel and inconsiderate, while not letting that take away my spirit.

I thought that I would feel left out not being a part of the same commencement cycle as my friends, and I am a little, but I also feel like I have a new commencement for myself: a revitalized view of myself, who I want to be, and through encounters with people I view with the utmost negativity, what attributes I definitely do not want to acquire. I can only hope that my friends and past classmates have the same epiphanies as I have had in this last year and can look back at the past fondly, in addition to humorously at the realization of how the petty people and frustratingly dramatic situations haven't fazed us for the long run in the slightest.